There are a few things in life that is known to freak us out. Ghosts, deadly insects, evil clowns, and the scariest of them all, asking someone out on a date. Not to be dramatic but asking that special someone out is a life or death situation that all of us will experience at least once in a lifetime. Okay, maybe not that dramatic but still, it is a nerve-racking situation to be in.
Figuring out the approach, the right things to say, even your outfit must be put into consideration when you are going for the million dollar question.
For a subject as difficult as this, it’s weird that we’ve never gotten a step by step walk-through on how to properly ask someone out. It is highly unlikely that you are given a 101 talk about this topic by your teachers or lecturers or even your parents. But don’t worry, we’re here to be your personal love guru and guide you through this challenging action.
1. Don’t put them in the spotlight
One thing that people do wrong when asking someone out is that they put that someone on a pedestal. You should avoid doing that because not only does it make your crush uncomfortable, it will worsen the nervous feelings that you already have. You need to remember that that person is only human just like you. So, avoid glorifying your crush even if you think he/she could potentially be the best thing that has happened in your life and approach them as you would anybody else.
2. Take note of their interests
Sure, going for a coffee date might be the safest activity to do, but don’t you want to woo your crush and leave a good impression that will leave them thinking about you? Put a little effort and your investigative skills to work and find out their personal interests and what they like to do most. If they’re into something fun and loud, go to a local funfair. If they’re into artsy stuff, take them to an art gallery. There are so many things you can do than just an ordinary coffee date.
3. Appear genuine
Nobody likes a phony, and that applies here too. Don’t put on an act when you’re about to ask that someone out. Instead of wearing clothes that you don’t normally wear and use big words that even you don’t understand, just be your true self. If you’re a t-shirt and jeans kind of person, so be it. If you lack bombastic words in your vocabulary, never mind. Just present yourself as who you are which hopefully, he/she would accept.
4. Be specific
When asking someone out, you want to be specific on what are you going to do on the date. Vague details only scares and confuses your potential date away. Instead of just saying that you want to hang out, go in detail on what are you going to do. For example: “Would you go out to dinner with me at this Italian place I found in KLCC. After that, we could go and catch the fountain show at the park there too”. Avoid leaving room for questions which could only add to their doubt of this date.
5. Learn to accept rejection
If whatever you are doing fails to impress that person, don’t be a sore loser and push them into going out with you. While persistence can be seen as you’re not willing to give up easily, in this case, once your date says no the first time, it is pretty obvious that you should stop and move on. Respect their boundaries and don’t be a creep about it. Who knows, maybe this admirable behaviour would prompt them into giving you a second chance?
As a last pep talk for our brave comrades seeking courage to ask that special someone out, whoever that may be, just go for it! What’s the worst that could happen anyway? Embarrassment, maybe, but what if your crush also has a crush on you? You’ll never know until you try, right?
What are some of the ways you ask somebody out? Do you have an effective method? Share with us at the comments section below.