By Nathalie Evangelia D'Souza from THREAD SG
“If you’re not dating for marriage, you’re dating to break up.”
While there’s nothing wrong with dating casually, there comes a time when you need to decide how far you want this to go. Do you really want things to work out, or are you content to just go with the flow and see where it takes you? Here are some factors to consider:
Juggling school and work at the same time? Barely have enough time to sleep while trying to pull up your GPA?
On top of making time for your friends and family, will you be able to fit time in for your partner?
Besides time, there’s also the matter of loyalty. Can you stay dedicated to one person, or are you not yet ready to settle down? I think it’s pretty clear that if the answer is no, perhaps now isn’t the right time for you to get into something serious.
#2. Personal Goals
If you’re intending to further your studies in Ecuador, by all means, go ahead! However, this is something your potential partner would want to know about. It’s only right they know exactly what they’re signing themselves up for.
No one wants to start something great for two months before you fly off to the other side of the world for the next four years.
I don’t just mean your plans for your studies. In the future, if you intend to join a vocation that requires you to travel a lot, these are things you should bring up early so the both of you can prepare for it together.
#3. Plans for the relationship
Is this a fling or a long-term thing? How long do you foresee your partner in your future? As mentioned, there’s nothing wrong if the both of you are not looking for anything serious.
Imagine going into the relationship thinking about marriage when all the other person wanted was something to pass time. Yeah, not so great.
This may sometimes seem selfish and ‘burdensome’, and you may think it’s ‘too early’ to set boundaries and limits.
Do you celebrate monthsaries? Does he need you to text him 24/7? Do you need her to be able to take care of herself, and be fine with seeing each other just once a week?
Discussing these details helps the both of you have a better understanding of each other, which will build trust and minimise disappointment.
That being said, just because you’ve put it out in the open does not mean you project these expectations on them and hope that they’ll follow each one unconditionally.
#5. The Family
For most of us, our family plays a crucial role in our lives. No matter how secretive you are about your relationship, your family will eventually find out, and if they don’t like your significant other, it can be pretty hard to make things work.
If you/your partner don’t have a good relationship with your own family, it may be something you want to share beforehand.
That being said, don’t stress! Have fun with your relationship, and the rest will come naturally.
What are some things you think about before you get serious with your partner? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!