The Misleading 50/50 Relationship


By Patricia Ong from THREAD PH

Time to stop keeping score

As humans who are constantly striving for equality in the workplace and society, it’s common to fall into the trap of wanting a 50/50 split when it comes to relationships as well.

A lot of people think that each partner should contribute equally in order for a relationship to work. After all, if we go halfway, why shouldn’t our partner meet us in the middle? That middle ground is where conditions and keeping score takes place. It’s where couples start to calculate giving half and getting back half in return.

A good relationship is all about giving your all, and giving it freely even when it means not receiving the same amount back. It’s asking yourself “What can I do to make my partner’s day a little bit brighter?”, even when you’re fully aware that they might not be capable of giving their fair share. You shouldn’t idly wait for your partner to begin picking up his or her end of the relationship before picking up yours. How does one even decide what is considered “equal’’? What happens when a partner can’t carry their load for the time being or indefinitely?

A new practice to consider is 100–100 — giving openly and wholeheartedly your version of 100. This is because, there will come days when you really won’t be able to give 100. This may be because you’re ill, overworked, or heavy-hearted, and this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take care of your own needs. Rather, these are the days you’ll be thankful you have someone who is giving their all and not expecting anything in return. Someone who is not looking for your share of the 100, your 50 percent.

You might say that giving 100 means putting up with bad behavior, which isn’t what we mean at all. No number or percentage will ever justify an abusive relationship.

The main message is that one shouldn’t stop halfway when it comes to relationships. Comparing and keeping score will do nothing but harm it. Give your 100 percent and find a partner who is more than willing to do the same.

Are you guilty of keeping score in your relationships? Tell us about it in the comments section below!