How to Be A Good Listener In A Relationship


If you’ve just embarked on a relationship with someone (or have been for several years or decades) here’s some pretty good advice on one of the essential things to keep in mind which is how to listen. Sure we do it every day but many times we fail to do it the right way. Now’s the time to take a step back and mend our ways so check this out.

1. Remove Distractions

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First off, put away your gadgets, turn down the music and preferably sit somewhere isolated from the public. Be all ears to your loved one and just listen. Showing that you are serious enough to listen will mean a lot to your partner so make sure to focus on what he or she wants to say. Sometimes we tend to get carried away with the things around us that we fail to recognize when our partner is sending a cry for help or simply just wants us to listen about their day.


2. Use Body Language

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Naturally when you listen your body language will also indicate that you are giving total concentration. So position your body towards them and look at your partner’s expression. Experts advise one to mirror your partner’s movements so that your partner will feel comforted to know that you are paying attention. Putting your arm around their shoulder or giving a hug will also do the trick and give a clear sign that you’re listening.


3. Don’t Interrupt

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Often we have the urge to say something back immediately to give our response. If you’re like this practice some self-control and don’t interrupt until your partner is ready for you to say something.  Being a good listener means letting the other person have their say first and pausing before offering your two cents.


4. Be Sensitive


Look out for little signs such as the tone of their voice, facial expression and such. When you know whether your other half is sad, happy or upset it’ll be easier to give out the appropriate response. Even better, put yourselves in their shoes and try to feel how they’re feeling. You’ll get extra points if you can show that you understand because it also spells that you have listened.

5. Show Empathy


They say the key to a successful relationship is being able to show empathy especially in crucial times when your partner is feeling down.  But how do you do this?  Restate what your partner has just told you, such as “that sounds like you felt disgusted” or simply acknowledge the pain they’re feeling with phrases such as “wow, that must have hurt” and “no wonder you’re upset”. You’ll turn up as a much better listener if you can master this technique and provide the right support for your partner.


So you think you can try these the next time your partner wants you to listen? Or why not tell us other ways to be a good listener in the comment section down below.