One of the most said phrases after breaking up with someone is usually, “we can still be friends”. But are you really friends with your ex after that though? Although it is always considered a mistake remaining in contact with an ex, it is actually not that bad once you figured out a proper way to.
Of course, it would not be a good idea if you had a bad breakup prior to this but if you and your partner split in good terms, why not maintain that friendship you once had? However, there are boundaries and rules when remaining friends with an ex.
Here are some do’s and don’ts when you and your ex want to give this friendship thing a go.
1. DO: Know your boundaries
This is the most important part in your friendship. Since you probably know everything about your ex and what is going on with her/his life before, you need to take a step back from it and have boundaries with each other. No special treatments for anything this time; no good morning and good night texts, no sending her late-night snacks, and definitely no “borrowing” his favourite hoodie.
2. DON’T: If your new partner is not comfortable with it
If your new partner is not comfortable with you being friends with your ex, you unfortunately have to cut ties with her/him. Even if you have explained to your partner that you really are just friends with your ex, just do what you are told and back away from your ex. Sure, it is not the ideal way to do it but you do not want to jeopardize your new relationship because of your past now, don’t you?
3. DO: Treat your ex nothing more than a friend
When the both of you decide to be just friends, make sure you commit to just being that and nothing more. It may be difficult since the two of you have much history together but refrain from doing anything remotely romantic or sexual with each other even if you meant it as a joke. Act like how you are with your platonic friend and you maybe able to pull it off.
4. DON’T: If you mean to keep tabs on your ex
If your intention of maintaining friends is to keep tabs on your ex, then it is not a good idea to continue with your friendship. The whole idea is to move on from your relationship, not be on the loop with every single thing your ex is doing. This will not benefit either of you as you will get jealous seeing your ex move on from you and will have her/him feel restricted from doing anything.
It is possible to be friends with your ex. You have to be on the same page and redefine your relationship from being ex-partners to just friends.
Are you friends with your ex? How is that going for you? Share your experience at the comments section below.