Long-standing romantic relationship with your partner seems like illogical for people who don't believe in true love. Romantic relationship with intense love can be elusive for some people that are less sensitive. Some of you might not see that there are strategies to keep the love that you feel towards your partner last longer and stronger. Of course, beauty inside out is part of it but if you ever heard the "Grow old together" quote, you will know that it is achievable as long as you both make an effort. But, what we want is how to maintain love for each other in addition to growing old together. No one wants to grow old with their partner having the feeling of unhappiness.
The sound of love strategies might sound some sort of manipulation. It is not because love is a positive force. It will not work for people who have a negative mindset to it. Love is an unseen element that only can be felt by honest people. However, believe it or not, there are honest people who possess true love that also can fail in a romantic relationship. Why?
This happened because we forgot to improve ourselves and don't understand our spouse or partner. Practice love strategies not only make your love for each other last, but also help improve our attitude and behavior.
Besides, positive behavior always win in human psychology. It will win your partner's heart. Well, no one loves bad behavior, right? Every action starts with the thought. Then, the result is the reflection of a person's character and body language.
This part might be difficult for the first time. But yourself is the only person who can choose whether to be unhappy or happy in married life. So, to have a happy married life, it must start with the best version of yourself first. Don't expect all kindness to come from our spouse alone. All the goodness in married life must come from both sides. Let's explore and practice the love strategies below to make your love for each other last forever.
5 Major Love strategies
1. Have positive thoughts and feelings
We will never enjoy any moment in our life with negative thoughts and feelings. It's useless even if your partner is kind, honest and loves you. This is because negativity will always raise misunderstanding situations opening the door for arguments.
Yes, we admit it that fights, arguments, and problems in relationships are ordinary because it helps couple to solve and improve themselves towards each other. However, if we often fight on the same issues over and over again, it means there is something wrong with our mindset. We need a new mindset to improve our relationship. The new mindset is we must have positive thoughts and feelings towards our partner. Stop blaming each other. Stop judging and predicting our partner for their mistakes. We must learn to have a healthy discussion and try to understand them better. We are human beings that deserves to be happy in a relationship. Stop counting the problems but start to find solutions.
For example, if you're a husband and in the evening you see the dirty dishes in the kitchen, don't conclude that your wife is a lazy housewife. That kind of prediction will make yourself disappointed. Practice the positive thought every second like she has limited time or needs some rest for a while. If you need to know the reason, you should ask her politely or help her out.
2. Balancing give and take
Give and take in relationships are important as we can't expect to receive more if we don't give more. Give and take is one of the essential things in a relationship journey. This is because a romantic relationship is a two-way relationship unless your partner is a robot. Once this balance is damaged, the difficulty will increase. Our partner will feel very disappointed and start complaining because they deserve to receive anything in return. Have you ever been in a relationship where one person did nothing? Were you happy? Of course not.
A simple example to improve our give and take relationship is to have a good conversation. Good conversation should be a balanced conversation. People talk to others because they want to share their feelings. They want to get relief. The worst thing is, they might be having trouble.
So, how to have a balanced conversation? We must be an active listener as a give for our partner as return listening to our problems and concerns before. Offer our loved one to talk as well and listen to what he or she is saying. Other than that, another example could be if your husband helped you clean the dishes almost every day, why not you cook his favorite meal every week.
3. Be attractive
Some people think that beauty and good looks are not the key in a happy romantic relationship. People always believe that love only needs internal beauty.such as kindness, honesty, loyalty, brains, character, and personality.
Maybe people do forget that external beauty is not always about looking like a model or full perfection. It is about personal hygiene and self-confidence. Without external beauty care, our partner might be ashamed or uncomfortable with us.
It is often that men doesn't understand why they like to look at other women. They don't realize that those women doll themselves up by investing in skincare, cosmetics and wear beautiful outfits. Why those women are beautiful and attractive? That is because they take care of external beauty.
When the woman notice the man often look at other women, a fight may begin from jealousy. So try to enhance your physical natural beauty as external beauty is an important thing to add a sense of love for each other for the long run.
Nowadays, it is not relevant to say external beauty is not needed because Inner and outer are interconnected. Therefore, every couple must learn how to be attractive to one another. Your partner will be proud and appreciate with all the effort. However, believing in personality is more important than looks is not wrong either. But if we learn to enhance our natural beauty, we will be giving an extra bonus to each other.
Why external beauty such as skincare, makeup, and beauty of the body are one of the powerful keys for having a high rank in love for each other? Because we associate other positive qualities with a pleasing appearance. Our partner will always be attracted to us.
For example, an attractive person is expected to be happier and have more rewarding life experiences. They also have positive behaviour and personality. Our partner will miss us when we are away. They can't wait to go home and meet us.
So, don't forget to maintain both beauty. Internal and external. If you love to see your wife look beautiful and gorgeous, you can support the beauty product cost. If you want your husband to look clean, stylish, and charming, you can support him by teaching the knowledge of beauty for men.
4. Have a good physical bonding
Physical bonding will make two people's strength of love and affection grow stronger. Expert people calls it as physical intimacy. Physical touch between two people builds a stronger connection. During the intimate moments between the couple, both parties will release Oxytocin, a hormone, and a neurotransmitter. Effect of Oxytocin eases stress and improve social skills. The neurotransmitter includes serotonin which plays a vital role in mood regulation. When you are feeling down, sad or have mood swings, that is the sign your serotonin level is low.
So, physical intimacy is significant to maintain the love in married life. When we speak about physical intimacy, do you immediately think about sensual closeness or sex? Oh, yes, of course, one of them is a sexual act. But there is a lot more to it. Physical intimacy includes a range of behaviors such as hand-holding, kissing, cuddling, walking arm to arm, and hugging.
It means more than heading to the bedroom with your spouse. It will involve a deep emotional connection between you and your partner. Having a deep bond can trigger a positive effect on other aspects of your relationship.
Touch is a strong impact for both physically and emotionally. Frequent physical bonding will bring up safety, comfort, love, and more. Married couples that have a higher physical bonding rate often feel an increase in their relationship satisfaction.
5. Making time for a quality time
Some people think that after marriage we are already in the "together zone" and it is enough. What people don't understand is being together is not equal to quality time together. This might sound insane but how many couples spend time together with the "quality" time?
Spending time together is not always about "always together" watching TV, eating lunch, planning and talking about each other's work. Spending quality time together means we do fun things, hang out, go on dates and go on honeymoon for the second time. Maybe for the third time or more every year.
As an adult, we can't run away from responsibilities and commitment. From paying bills, running errands to sending off the kids to school, doing all adult stuff together is not really spending quality time. Life will always keep us busy. There is no end to it and we lead the routine life making us forget to enjoy our beautiful relationship.
Hence, as a husband or wife to someone special to you, find out the right way to spend quality time together. It is not about stealing the time but making the time. Making the time is creating time for both of you. Doing hobbies together such as play a video game together, try a new sport, explore new things, take a vacation, go on a weekend getaway, or cooking a meal together.
5 Minor Love strategies
1. Give a special note
Write a special letter for your partner such as a poem, romantic song lyrics, or a small love note. Put it on their bedside table, in their jeans pocket, or wallet. Do it quietly and make it a surprise. The love letter will definitely cheer him or her up. The letter shows that we care and appreciate them.
2. Be nice to your partner’s loved ones
Show kindness and love to your partner’s family, friends and their favorite people in life. Give them a special gift on their birthday or special moments.
3. Learn everything your partner loves
If your partner love to play video games, try to learn the games. Then, both of you can play together. When we learn and understand about the games, we can talk about the same topic together. This will make your partner happy and appreciate the effort you put in for their sake.
4. Give each other space
We must admit that not all the activities we can do together at the same time or in the same place. Example, if your partner has an appointment with their client, let them go alone. We can do something else. Another example, if your partner wants to read a book, give them space to focus on their reading. We should give our partner a healthy space. They should enjoy their alone time once in a while.
5. Choose to be happy
To make the relationship last is one of the many critical missions for every couple. The long-lasting relationship goal can be achieved by choosing to BE happy. Being happier in a relationship is something that we should control over. Everything starts with our behavior and mindset. Don't give up working on it. Treat each other like your relationship started just today and you wish to keep it forever. Building a life together takes a lot more than love. Internalize these points and invest in your relationship to have a happily-ever-after.
Do you apply all the love strategies above? Or you have your own ways? Share your own tips in the comment section below!