Especially to us ladies, friendship makes an essential part of our lives. We allocate a lot of our time and attention for some midnight phone calls, bi-weekly sleepover party and on each other’s D-day. If you happen to rent with our best friends, you’ll tend to exchange your clothes, accessories and even shoes with one another because it’s pretty common for us share our stuff.
Despite the strength that is built with your friends, one can’t really negate the fact that toxic friendships do exist. There will be one, or probably some of those who’d hang out with you for the sake of your membership card with a coffee house. Or that they simply want to get a free ride to work, or the coupons that you typically redeem at the end of the month.
This sort of friendship is not only taxing, but challenges your sincerity to continue to befriend with them. After some time, you might be wondering on the means to step out of FWB. Fret not, for in this article we are going straight into the practical and real ways of putting a halt to such toxic friendship.
1. First thing first, get back all your belongings
Before you even begin the conversation, or rather the confrontation, be sure to take your stuff, benefits and membership cards back to where they belong; and that is YOU. Do it subtly by saying that you’re doing a spring cleaning so you’re going to need to trace all of your stuff making sure that they are all there with you.
2. Take a time-off
It is undeniably upsetting to realise that you have a toxic relationship with your friend, especially when you thought that he/she would be there for you, for who you are and not what you have. So have the rights to give yourself a little TLC. Take a break to mourn or reflect on how far the friendship has come. This does not mean that you should keep it the same as it is. Rather, this is to give you some ideas on how to mend the situation. Talk to a friend if you need to because you would need some help on how to handle this situation maturely without hurting anyone.
3. Set a time to meet and discuss
This is the hardest part; the confrontation. While you may need the courage of entire villagers to come out for this, you can’t really avoid it if you really want to end the toxic situation. The best is to get all the involved parties to sit and discuss with open hearts face to face. Talk about how you appreciate their presence if you do, otherwise you could come out with some other good things to talk about. Then slowly dive into the core problem; how much this friendship is taking its toll on you in many ways, emotionally and materially. They might rebut your points but it’s okay, you just do you.
4. Stick to your opinions
As the discussion gets tighter, remember to stick to your principles about how much you would want to end this toxic friendship pattern. Do not give in to their excuses because it will only worsen the situation as they’d continue making use of you. In fact, come out with several solutions that would improvise the friendship. And if any of them refuse to do their part, it’s time to bid them farewell. Adieu!
5. Patience is key
Just as in all kinds of relationships, improvements require tolerance and commitments. In fact, as you take a step forward to mend the relationships, you might find yourself only to be going five steps back! There’s no magic potion to the toxic friendship solution because humans behave differently from one another. If you really want to keep the friendship, remember to be patient in trying out various ways of restoring it. If Plan A didn’t work, you still have 22 other possible plans to carry out. But if you have no intention of doing so, stick to Step 4 and put stop there.
Toxic friendship is undoubtedly detrimental. It may affect us mentally and emotionally due to the pain that it causes especially realising that the commitment and love that we offer is used wrongly. Have you been in a toxic relationship before? Let us know how you handled the situation in the comment box below.