A good friend of yours is going through a bad painful breakup. Dealing with this kind of conflict, you know that it is not easy for anyone involved. You wish you could offer some help and put her out of misery. What can you actually do? How should you treat her and her bruised feelings? Well, first of all, you need to be as supportive as possible. Here are some simple practical guides that can be applied so that you will be better at comforting your friend.
1. A concern call
Make a call. Reach out to your friend via phone calls, voice notes or texts to say hi and ask how she’s been doing. You cannot help to patch the failed relationship but you can let her know that as a friend, you really care about her.
2. Lend an ear
This is the time when she needs you to be a good listener. Be attentive and show your support. The most important thing is you have to be present - mentally and physically. She just needs someone to listen to her venting. Thus, give your full attention by exercising sensitivity and empathy. Let her express what she is going through, validate her emotion to make her feel comforted. Punishing her by giving the ‘I told you so’ face or expression is a strict no as it will not in any way help to mend her crushed feelings.
3. A surprise for the broken heart
Surprise your friend. Send something as a gift to brighten her day. Bake her a cake, bring her favourite ice-cream, chocolates or some comfort food to make her feel better. It does not necessarily be in a grand gesture. Just shower her with your sweet thoughts and kindness. This will help to cheer her up a bit.
4. Respect that your friend need some time alone
Everybody needs some time and space to mourn for a bad breakup. This is a phase where your friend will be needing some private time alone. Hence, respect her privacy. Know your boundaries. Know how to read cues when she wishes to be excluded or doesn’t want to be disturbed. Give her some time to heal.
5. Plan a short getaway
After giving her some private time, it is now the time to go out and smell the fresh air. Take your friend (if you need to, drag her out) to a movie or a lunch for a start. Then, plan a short vacation. A girls trip. Pack your backpacks and let this short getaway be a good distraction for her. She will definitely thank you later for this.
6. Keep checking on her
Always be there for your friend. Let her know that you are available in case she needs someone. You can even offer your place as a safe place for her to come and stay whenever she is feeling miserable. Make an effort to check on her while she is still in this fragile stage. Remind her to eat, rest and stop crying. Prevent her from doing silly things that will embarrass herself. As a friend, be honest with her and give a couple of wise advices if you need to. Remember, only if you need to.
No two breakups are similar. You may not fully understand what your friend is going through or why she might take longer time to heal before moving on. However, you can still be supportive and hopefully breakup will be less excruciating for her. Do you have any other tips for dealing with your friends’ breakups? Kindly let us know in the comment box below.